Guns, Large Breasts and Big Guns

Andy Sidaris invented Monday Night Football. His departure from it was the beginning of the end for a great weeknight sports diversion. Today Monday Night Football is an embarrassment. Boring games...drug dealing players...no talent broadcasters...and stupid social causes permeate this show no one with sanity watches. Andy Sidaris didn't fall into oblivion...he began making movies that people actually wanted to see. Featuring Playboy Playmates and other large breasted gals, Sidaris' exploitation treats spoke to many of us. Today we look at 1990's "Guns," written and directed by Mr. Sidaris.

Degas (Erik Estrada) is a South American gun runner. He sends two incompetent assassins to execute Nicole (Roberta Vasquez- Playboy Playmate). The cross dressing fools kill the wrong babe. Now Nicole and her partner, Donna (Dona Speir- Playboy Playmate) head to Vegas where Degas has set up operations. They bring fellow secret agent hunks with them, including Bruce (Bruce Penhall). Bruce and Nicole will enjoy some pre-marital sex on Bruce's motorcycle. Assassins are dispatched immediately and Donna takes them out with a portable anti-aircraft cannon...yes! Our secret agent babes join more members of their babe-team which include a nightclub singer, Edy (Cynthia Brimhall- Playboy Playmate) and oil wrestlers. Now Nicole and Donna take the fight to Degas.

Babes will begin to die horribly has Degas is bent on their elimination. The good babes fight back and many of Degas' babes will die horribly. In one classic scene...good babe Edy will invade the bath of Degas' assassin GF (Devin DeVasquez- Playboy Playmate) and murder her. Degas will kidnap babe Attorney General (Phyllis Davis) and slap her around a bit. As Degas lures Nicole and Donna into a trap, gratuitous nudity, pre-marital sex, and oil wrestling will grace the screen. Degas and his men have some big guns, but Donna has that guided missile launcher thing which she now plans to use at close range.

Will Nicole and Donna prevail or will Degas string them up and slap them, just like he did to the babe Attorney General? What kind of special talents does one need to have passionate pre-marital sex on a motorcycle? What happens when blood spatter when it is mixed with silicone splatter? This is a fun one and Andy Sidaris succeeded in making some pleasing sexploitation. Instead of watching the irrelevant and socially deviant National Football League, enjoy a more fun brand of deviance, "Guns."