Skyscraper, Anna Nicole Smith Dies Hard

When Anna Nicole Smith (1967-2007) died, no one said, "She died so young, we'll miss her." I think most of the world was pretty done with her. Today, most of the world is pretty done with the Jenners' and Kardashians'...though a pre-mature demise doesn't appear in the cards for them. With the obnoxious and nauseating existences of the Kardashians' and Jenners', well maybe, just maybe, we now realize that we weren't fair on Ms. Smith and her tiresome fame. Let us not forget she did give us the best "Die Hard" rip-off out there! Not even the Italians made a good "Die Hard" rip-off. Today we look at 1996's, straight-to-video, "Skyscraper."

Carrie (Smith) is a commercial helicopter pilot bringing rich guys from skyscraper to skyscraper in L.A. and Long Beach. So, of course, as the film begins, Carrie is partaking in a very gratuitous and extra long shower scene. She'll be joined in the shower by her hunk detective husband, Gordon (Richard Steinmetz). They'll then partake in a very gratuitous sex scene...then Carrie will prance around in some skimpy white undies. Okay, some suave terrorist, Fairfax (Charles Huber) hires her. Eventually Fairfax has her bring him to a certain skyscraper. Carrie doesn't know that he and his merry band of terrorists plan to take over the tower. Well, the terrorists kill a lot of people, cops, security guards, office workers, etc and Carrie is now on the run in the tower.

Carrie will do what Bruce Willis did in "Die Hard," and many scenes were lifted right out of "Die Hard." Oh yeah, unlike Bruce Willis, Carrie will be raped by a terrorist. Fear not, she'll send her rapist out a skyscraper window to his death. She'll be chased, bloodied, slapped, and agitated. She'll respond by killing terrorists. When her husband responds to the carnage in the tower, the two of them will fight the terrorists. There will be a couple more gratuitous love scenes, in which Carrie and husband will roll around completely nude.

What exactly do the terrorists want? I don't remember, and who cares? Is there any truth to the accounts that Bonnie Bedelia had similar gratuitous love and nude scenes but they were cut from the final version of "Die Hard"? If Anna Nicole Smith had made more gratuitous exploitation films instead of marrying some old rich guy, would we now be celebrating her life? "Skyscraper" is sleazy trash, but the kind of sleazy trash we like. For those looking for a  guilty pleasure, see "Skyscraper."