Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold, Gunslinger Babe in Search of Herself

All you peeps offended by 'cultural appropriation'...bug off!!! Today we look at a film where the sultry blonde Laurene Landon plays a half-Apache babe, mowing down a bunch of Mexican bandits, in search of her true heritage.  The tall leggy blonde in a B style western is just so satisfying.  1984's "Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold" will be high on thrills and sex appeal as Ms. Landon romps through the Mexican and southwestern landscapes.

As the film begins, Yellow Hair (Landon) is getting owned by an Apache hunk. Fortunately she'll rebound and decimate him.  This is fortunate for her, as in the Apache tribe, the first hunk that conquers her...gets her.  Now she is off to Mexico to rescue her half-brother, the Pecos Kid (Ken Roberson).  He is a charmer and has run afoul of a Mexican colonel, Torres (Luis Lorenzo).  As Yellow Hair arrives and saves the Kid, Torres' henchman, Flores (Aldo Sambrell), arrives at the Apache reservation and kills Yellow Hair's mother.  Now yellow Hair and the Kid head off into the Mexican desert to find the lost fortress of gold.  Both for different reasons.  The Kid wants wealth.  Yellow Hair believes the secret to her heritage is located in the lost fortress.

The fortress is guarded by some wickedly evil Indians, the Tulapins.  The Tulapins have murdered many of Colonel Torres soldiers in the most horrible and gory ways...you'll see. The Kid and Yellow Hair will have to battle a barrage of rattlesnakes and Tulapin scouts to get to the fortress.  Also, Colonel Torres and Flores are pursuing the duo...they also seek the gold.  Ambushes and traps abound as Yellow Hair and the Kid head to the lost fortress.  Uh oh...some trickery and horrifying revelations are also waiting to destroy Yellow Hair.  Alas, the Tulapin chief, Shayowteewah (Cihangir Gaffari) has special and deviant plans for the beautiful blonde gunslinger.

Comical and vicious, Laurene Landon as an action heroine makes this film so worthwhile.  Will Yellow Hair and The Kid realize their love for each other?  Does Shayoteewah have a special place for the nubile Yellow Hair on his sacrificial altar?  Will Yellow Hair's decimation of her Mexican and Indian foes get her banned by the modern day PC police?  However un-PC this film is...it is a lot of fun and Laurene Landon is a lot more appealing than anything in those two new "Wonder Women" movie monstrosities.  Rile your PC buddies and enjoy "Yellow Hair and the Fortress of Gold."