Barracuda, Pedophiles and Other Perverts Beware

With the unsurprising revelation that Bill Clinton is a pedophile, many elites are trying to downplay the evilness of pedophilia. Not this film. 2013's "Barracuda" is an anthem to those who have been raped as children...perhaps a fantasy tale of a world where perverts get what they deserve. 2013's "Barracuda" may draw comparisons to "I Spit on Your Grave," and those would be fair ones. Directed by Christy Oldham and Shane Woodson... "Barracuda" is a film in which the Bill Clintons of the world will not fare well.

Summer (Oldham) is a phone sex operator who lives on a houseboat in Venice. She fulfills the fantasies of perverts all across America. She realizes, through her callers' role-playing, that she is often talking to pedophiles. She begins compiling a notebook and becomes jaded to believe all men are scoundrels and perverts. Now she is armed with the addresses of perverts and pedophiles...but what will she do with it? After her best friend's husband (Will Beinbrink) sneaks into her drawers and tries on and sniffs her underwear, Summer goes on the warpath. She'll ruin her best friend's marriage with a surveillance video and hop in her Plymouth Barracuda.

Summer begins a road trip showing up at the doorsteps of many of her pervert customers. She'll have tape recordings in hand and eagerly chat with the pervert's family members. This leads to many divorces and even a castration. After hanging the testicles of one of her clients on her rear view, the game will get bloodier. A death makes her a wanted woman. Not deterred by warrants, she still has perverts to visit including an Elvis wannabe...and her pedophile stepdad. Uh oh...a man? Yep, the non perverted Harrison (Kaden Graves) just may emerge as a love interest through this carnage tour.

Does Summer's bloody warpath make her as bad as the perverts she's ruining? No!!!  Does Summer have any special plans for the stepfather that molested her? Will the seemingly sweet Harrison hold true or will he be put on Summer's castration list? Ms. Oldham is terrific as a 'Dirty Harriett' type avenger slaying the disgusting among us. For some gratuitous fun about a bikini clad phone-sex operator, driving an old Plymouth, with justice in mind, see "Barracuda."

The Protege, Maggie Q Does the John Wick Thing

Perhaps not an original plot, but we do have Maggie Q in tight leather catsuits, evening gown, all wet and sweaty, in the throes of pre-marital sex, and quick to murder with some type of firearm or trick phone. Yes! Where John Wick sweated and grunted, Maggie Q seduces and murders.  Oh, how about this for a quote from our Maggie Q protagonist, "Make up your mind, kill me, or f*** me!" Which would you choose? Our feature today is the uber violent assassin epic, 2021's "The Protege," directed by Martin Campbell.

What a backstory we have. Vicious, seductive, and interesting. See the movie, no spoilers here. Present day, Anna (Q) is an antique book store owner. Her best buddy is Moody (Samuel L. Jackson). The two have a gig going, find people who don't want to be found, then murder them. Payday is always several million Euros...and the vermin they kill, are indeed vermin. Uh oh, Moody is dying and he asks Anna to find an old...well, associate, an Edward Hayes (David Rintoul). Problem, everyone who looks for Hayes, dies horribly in either a hail of bullets or an explosion. Enter the suave Rembrandt (Michael Keaton). Easy to figure out that he was sent by Hayes to murder Anna. His men do murder Moody, but now Anna is ticked! Anna is now more than determined to find Hayes and now Rembrandt is on her tail. Anna and Rembrandt will shoot at one another and even have pre-marital sex (hence, the above mentioned quote).

Okay, Hayes' boys capture Anna, torture her, pummel her, torture her some more, then die horribly when they underestimate the babe's abilities. Now Anna is in Vietnam hunting this Hayes guy...but exactly who is he? Rembrandt will share an elegant dinner with the evening gown clad Anna, as well as a few shootouts. Both will murder dozens of henchmen, for different reasons. Now Rembrandt is tasked with doing anything he has to to keep Hayes alive. This is just what Anna is counting on.

Just who is Hayes and how did Moody know him?  Will Rembrandt end up murdering Anna or will Anna end up murdering Rembrandt?  How many dozens of schmucks will Anna murder on her way to Hayes? Maggie Q is seductive and lethal, just the way we want her.  Michael Keaton is miscast, but hey, he's Batman, and that's okay.  For a very seductive and sexy John Wick type film, see "The Protege." 

She Walks by Night, A Prurient True Story

Belinda Lee, a sultry actress through the 1950s. Alas, by unnatural and violent means, she was killed at the age of 25 in 1961.  Just before she died, the sultry blonde portrayed Rosemarie Nitribitt.  This becomes weird as Miss Nitribitt died at the age of 24 in 1957. Yep, she died by most violent means.  The German  beauty had the life viciously strangled out of her in what is still the most famous, or infamous, cold case in European history. Rosemarie was screwing a member of the Royal Family during the months leading up to her murder.  Miss Lee was screwing an Italian prince at the time of her suspicious car wreck. Miss Nitribitt caused scandal, for awhile, in the British Royal Family.  Miss Lee caused scandal in the halls of The Vatican. Let us look at 1959's "She Walks by Night," a Hugo Grimaldi film directed by Rudolf Jugert.

With no way to earn a living, what is a young single babe to do?  In Berlin, Rosemary Nitribitt becomes a prostitute.  A good one.  She even enjoys it. Quickly she finds a, for lack of a better term, sugar daddy. The very wealthy and very much older Alexander (Walter Rilla) finds her, saves her from arrest, and moves her into his luxury flat. She screws around on him any chance she gets.  Though she promised never to be a prostitute again, she likes doing it too much. Eventually, Alexander throws her out. Now she goes full force finding wealthy guys and screwing them.  She actually finds her tricks, no pimp involved. Uh oh, an opportunistic pimp (Karl Lieffen) shows up. He tries to tough talk Rosemarie into working for him.  Rosemarie turns the tables, infatuates him, and she merely strings him along as a drooling admirer.

Rosemarie abuses everyone in her life including her housekeepers.  Then she finds a hunk fur dealer named Frank (Claus Wilcke).  He will be a tough conquest, but Rosemarie has assets and ultimately even the good-souled Frank is corrupted.  Now the film turns on the dread.  Rosemarie is visited by a mysterious sort.  Is he an angel?  Is he her own conscience? Rosemarie is faced with the reality that she has never loved anyone.  All that she does love are material things that will not last.  Then, with a million souls in Berlin, male and female, who would like to strangle her to death, Rosemarie becomes an almost insane paranoic.  The sultry lady of the night in gowns, lingerie, negligees, and other alluring costumes may have seemed to have had it all, especially with money, but will that be enough?

Who did murder Rosemarie Nitribitt? Is the fact that the case is still unsolved a suggestion that is was a member of the Royal Family that murdered her?  Is the mindset of Rosemarie Nitribitt now the prevailing mindset of today's youngsters?  This is a morality tale indeed.  Miss Lee is sultry and seductive in every frame of the film.  Gritty, horrific, and ominous, the beauty of Rosemarie Nitribitt (and of Belinda Lee) provide great contrast to what we see on the screen.  For a sad, horrific, and sometimes hard to watch thriller, see "She Walks by Night."  

Code Name: Dancer, Kate Capshaw as a Secret Agent

The U.S. and Cuba insist on living in the past. The 1960s are gone, thank God! Still U.S. Neo-Cons hang onto the myth that the Cubans will host an initial Communist invasion of the Florida keys. The Cubans still think Communism is a good idea even though the Russian threw it out with the trash. Then there is Kate Capshaw, a sultry dame, with some gratuitous swimsuit scenes, baring lots of cleavage, and playing a secret agent. Set in 1987, our feature today was made before the end of the Cold War.  Let us look at 1987's "Code Name: Dancer," a TV movie directed by Buzz Kulik.

She has a perfect life.  Annie (Capshaw) is a sultry schoolteacher with a rich, handsome, and doting husband (Cliff De Young). Paul and Annie even have a great kid in mind they are talking about adopting. Then Annie gets a mysterious phone call, "The Dancer is locked in the candy store and only you have the key." What does that mean? Annie's past, and very secret life has caught up to her. She flees her comfortable and loving California life, and sneaks into Cuba. Yep, her old CIA buddy, Vic (Gregory Sierra) apparently has been captured by Fidel Castro's forces. Now back in Cuba, reactivated CIA agent Annie contacts a hunk, Malarin (Jeroen Krabbe). The Cuban hunk is Castro's best buddy and Annie seduced him eight years earlier in order to gain information of Soviet troop deployments in Cuba. They had a lot of pre-marital sex and legitimately fell in love before Annie had to betray him.

Now eight years later Annie shows up at Malarin's mansion to beg him to spare Vic's life. Hey, it's Kate Capshaw showing a lot of cleavage, Malarin immediately has more pre-marital sex with her. However much he was betrayed by this CIA operative, he still loves her.  Hey, it's Kate Capshaw! Uh oh...yep, you guessed it.  The CIA and the Soviets are involved and we know what that means.  Not all is what it appears.  It also means that Annie's allies may not be allies.  Now Annie is on the run in Cuba, and to make matters worse, her lover has been arrested by Fidel Castro's security forces. 

Kate Capshaw is stunning in every moment she is on screen.  Sadly, this is not the feel good movie of 1987, as the Cold War was not the feel good story spanning four decades. The allure of Annie in a swimsuit or sweating in the Cuban heat is matched by danger at every turn and betrayal is also lurking.  For a great Cold War film with a very alluring performance by Ms. Capshaw, see "Code Name: Dancer" and see how it plays so well here in 2025.

No Contest II, Shannon Tweed Returns

Carnage at a beauty pageant was such a beautiful plot device. Evening gown clad beauties in much peril played well on the silver screen in the 1995 "No Contest" (aka "Face the Evil") starring Shannon Tweed. Ms. Tweed's character killed a lot of terrorists and saved some of the beauty contestants...alas, not all. You can't keep a good babe down and in 1996 Ms. Tweed made "No Contest II," also directed by Paul Lynch. Would our blonde Kung Fu babe return with a machinegun and an attitude? Yep!

Sharon Bell (Tweed) is making a Kung Fu film. Between shoots, she takes her director, Jack (Bruce Payne) and male lead, Steve (Jeffrey Max Nicholls) to go scouting for a location. Sharon takes them to a artsy-fartsy museum. Sharon's babe sister, Bobbi (Jayne Heitmeyer) is assistant curator there. Sharon hopes to rekindle a relationship with Bobbi. Over the years, Bobbi developed much resentment to Sharon. Just by coincidence, Eric (Lance Henriksen) arrives. He is donating a priceless statue he managed to buy in Moscow. The priceless statue was originally stolen by the Nazis during the war and ended up buried in Moscow after the war. The thing is priceless. As Sharon arrives with her crew, the statue arrives.

Uh oh! Bobbi is not happy to see Sharon. Even worse, Eric's men and babe femme-fatale, Lisette (Fiona Highet) start killing museum personnel. Now Eric has everyone locked in the museum as his people cut into the statue to find a Nazi formula for a nerve gas that can wipe out an entire country. As Eric and crew make the nerve agent and kill some more, Sharon fights back. Of course she will get into a catfight to the death with Lisette. Kung Fu and Uzis will prevail and now Sharon must free her sister, her co-star, and her director and foil Eric's plans to export the nerve gas to rogue nations. Oh yeah, some of the nerve gas gets loose and it actually melts people...you'll see. 

Why is Bobbi hostile to Sharon and will Sharon's Kung Fu efforts change their relationship? What does Eric want to do with the nerve gas bombs? Will Sharon or Eric end up melting by the end of this sequel? Gunfights, beautiful women, an evil mad-scientist, and melting victims provide some good entertainment. Ms. Tweed is stunning and her martial arts ability does present a great action hero. For a great time, and some nice Shannon Tweed cheese, see "No Contest II." 

The Wild Women of Wongo, Sultry Babes in Togas Want Hunks

As wokeness begins dying, thank God, perhaps more films like our feature today will be made.  Back in 1959, we did not have to worry about nauseating plots featuring "strong, independent women shattering the glass ceiling."  We didn't have to listen to the mindless drivel about women working twice as hard to have to prove herself in a male dominated society.  We didn't have to pretend ugly women were women of true beauty.  Today, with wokeness, obesity, purple hair, septum rings, and tattoos are forced on us. Well, times are changing again...ugly women get away!  Bring on the sultry dames that we actually want to look at.  So, let us take a look at 1959's "The Wild Women of Wongo," directed by James L. Wolcott.

Omoo (Jean Hawkshaw), the king of Wongo's daughter, is promised to a man she does not find attractive.  Omoo is a babe and wears a leopard-print toga around.  The other maidens of Wongo, all babes, are also dressed in revealing togas. Mona (Mary Ann Webb) has a nice leather one, and the perky blonde Wana (Adrienne Bourbeau) is my favorite. There are several others. The dragon god, an alligator, will pick their mates. One day a hunk visitor comes to Wonga, the handsome Engor (Johnny Walsh).  He's never seen beautiful women before.  All the women on his island are right out of 2020 woke-America...ugly! Omoo and Engor lust for one another, but the king makes it clear, Omoo is promised to a local milquetoast man. On his exit, the king orders Engor killed, but Omoo and the other awestruck maidens save him. 

Engor escapes, but the maidens will be punished by spending a month in the wilderness until the dragon god eats one of them. The babes bicker and dance.  Ahtee (Cande Gerrard) asserts herself as Omoo's rival. Ape men and alligators attack, and the babes fight them off with spears. Now the babes get bold and take canoes to Engor's island.  Engor and his mates are all promised to the local beast-women of his tribe. Omoo and her buddies act and capture all the men from Engor's tribe in nets.  The men are upset at this but we wonder how upset they are given the women of their own tribe are...UGLY! Fat, too!

Just what will Omoo and the other babe maidens do with the captured hunks?  Will the ape-women of Engor's tribe mount a counteroffensive and catfight with the Wongo dames?  Will any ape men capture a maiden and have their way with her?  There will be catfights, nice ones!  Skinny-dipping!  More catfights!  There will also be aroused maidens doing alluring dances fit for exotic dance clubs.  This is an alluring one that celebrates beauty and manhood.  For an anti-woke film to combat Hollywood's current releases, see "The Wild Women of Wongo."  

Angel of Vengeance, Babe Hunted by Survivalists

Jannina Poynter is known only for one film...the one I'm reviewing now.  Sultry and quite fit, the actress will be put through the grinder in this one. She'll also do something that many actresses refuse to do...she'll be gang raped as part of her portrayal. Miss Poynter is not an atypical actress to appear in a Ted V. Mikels film.  He finds babes, who can act, and who will do what most won't.  Tortured, humiliated, and violated, Miss Poynter will come through just fine in our exploitation gem today, the 1987 Ted V. Mikels spectacular, "Angel of Vengeance."

The sultry Tina (Poynter) is back in the town she grew up in. Now she is all grown up and has quite a shape. She rents a cabin in the woods with a plan to write a book about her dad...I know...yawn! A group of ne'er-do-well survivalists notice her and feel compelled to rape her. These survivalists first introduce themselves to Tina when Manny (Macka Foley) heads over to her cabin to rape her. Tina beats him up, calls the cops, but doesn't press charges. Major Hargrove (David O'Hara) leads the survivalists inside a desert compound.  He hates women...all of them are trouble.  He has no idea.  He brings his survivalists into battle with a neer-do-well biker gang and they massacre the bikers.  A sultry biker babe, Linda (Linda Eden) is taken prisoner..  She'll be raped a lot by Manny.

Then Tina is captured.  She is beaten up, tied up, strung up upside down, and humiliated.  She'll be put in the same cell as Linda.  Manny comes by and promises to rape her.  Unfortunately for Tina, she will be raped one by one by all the survivalists.  Now the Major wants to slit her throat.  When Tina gives him sass, he decides to let her loose in the wilderness and allow his men to hunt her down.  Oops...he did not know Tina also has a survivalist background...he'll find out.  Crossbows, grenades, machineguns, daggers, booby-traps, and sticks will all assume the role of weapons of choice.  As hordes of survivalists begin the hunt, they have no clue they are the underdogs.

Will the gang rape of Tina make the deaths of the hulking survivalists bloodier?  Is there a chance that Major Hargrove can prevail in his plans to cut Tina's throat?  Is this the greatest feminist anthem, as far as film goes, since "I Spit on Your Grave"?  Ms. Poynter gives an energetic performance and we love watching her run, sweat, being tortured, and prevailing.  For some gratuitous revenge exploitation, see "Angel of Vengeance."