The Pom Pom Girls, Short Skirts, Tight Sweaters, and Cheers

As both Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were annihilated and humiliated during last election season, wokeness is on the run. No more ugly babe-wannabes with tattoos, shaved heads, and weird piercings. Today we look at a film with babes the way we like them...nubile, flirtatious, unmarred, and happy. Cheerleaders will frolic, high-kick, catfight, make passionate love, and roll around in bikinis in the surf.  Oh, yes...roll around in mud pits, too.  Made in 1976, during the end of the horror that was the Gerald Ford Administration, "The Pom Pom Girls" (directed by Joseph Ruben) is a perfect accompaniment to 1974's "The Swinging Cheerleaders."  Incidentally, these films, taken as a pair, are the magnum opus of Rainbeaux Smith.

As the film begins, the cheerleaders, captained by Laurie (Ashley) practice their routines in bikinis at the beach. They'll finish practice and roll around in the surf. Laurie and Sally (Lisa Reeves) will hook up with two jock football players, Jessie (Michael Mullins) and Johnny (Robert Carradine). Laurie is Jessie's girl. Unbeknownst to her, so is fellow cheerleader Sue Ann (Susan Player). Johnny and Sally will also get together.  Pre-marital sex will occur.  Jessie will boink Sue Anne in the back of his van and Laurie in her bed. Cheerleaders frolicking in mud...relevant to the plot?  You decide. Roxanne seems to be along for the ride but does get felt up by football jocks enough.  The high school kids must beware their rival high school who are always out to mess with them.

Cheerleaders frolic in the sand dunes.  Cheerleaders frolic in the surf.  The highlight of this film is when Laurie, Sally, Sue Anne, Roxanne, and all the other Rosedale High cheerleaders have a knock down drag out catfight with the Hardin High cheerleaders during the football game. Cheerleaders chased by the sheriff.  Cheerleaders banged by jocks. Cheerleaders doused with a firehose. We'll get to see the cheerleaders dressing in their outfits before the big game.  We'll see tension between Laurie and Sue Anne as they get dressed.  Yes, I know, this all seems metaphorical of the Gerald Ford presidency.  Let's not get political.  In an age of wokeness, as the wokeness is in the process of being annihilated, we can only hope for more movies like this and less with grouchy actresses who insist on being called actors trying to tout stupid "social causes" in their films.

Some critics see "The Pom Pom Girls" as a metaphor of the Ford Administration, while others see it differently.  They see it, especially as nubile babes are endangered and pawed, as an ominous foreshadowing of the horrors ushered in by the Carter Administration.  America was going through hard times in the 1970s, but thank your lucky stars we had nubile cheerleaders with a proclivity to frolic, love, and bounce up and down in either cheerleader outfits or bikinis.  May the spirit of Rainbeaux Smith return to us in the form of better films and roles for actresses as wokeness is catapulted out the window.  See "The Pom Pom Girls," and if your feeling vigorous, virile, and potent, see it in a double feature with "The Swinging Cheerleaders."      

Outlaw Women, Gunfights and Catfights

Nothing like a film where a sultry dancehall babe in fishnets and heels catfights with a jealous wife clad in a white silk gown. Hair will be pulled.  Faces will be scratched. Garments will be yanked off. Men will eventually have to save the day.  Ah, the Old West!  Where men were men and women were women (unlike modern day America). In the frontier days , a women's path to empowerment was seduction, fishnets, and a hotel room on the floor above the dancehall.  Today's path of empowerment for a women is a worthless university degree...and that empowerment is only an illusion.  Today we look at 1952's "Outlaw Women" (IN COLOR!), directed by Sam Newfield and Ron Ormond.

Everyone is getting out of the soon to be ghost town of Silver Creek.  Good pals, Woody (Richard Rober) and Dr. Bob (Allan Nixon) scheme. Woody is a businessman and Bob is a pure-at-heart. After a lame gunfight, babe cowgirl Beth (Carla Balenda) needs a shard of glass dug out of her shoulder. Bob does this well and now Beth tells him her town desperately needs a doctor. The town? Las Mujeres, a town run by women, more specifically saloon owner Iron Mae McLeod (Marie Windsor). Bob wants no part of a town run by women...smart.  Still, Beth is persuasive and gets him there at gunpoint. Seeing all the sultry dancehall cuties and sexy cowgirls there, Bob reconsiders. Both Beth and her sister, the dancing girl Ellen (Jacqueline Fontaine) become sweet on him.

Uh oh...gunfighter Frank (Richard Avonde) wants Mae to give him operation of the town. Mae refuses, enjoying independence for her and her gals. Uh oh again, her old beau, Sam (Leonard Penn) is out of prison and he wants the operation. Mae resists.  Uh oh...Woody wants the operation. Even though Mae is sweet on him, she does not intend to sell.  Now all three of these men bring in forces consisting of ruthless cowboys. Poor Beth, in leather chaps she will have the snot kicked out of her by these forces.  Her sister, in fishnets, will not fare as well.  War is brewing. Bob calls for cooler heads. Now the future of Las Mujeres looks like it will depend on gunfights and a poker game.

In addition to slapping each other, will the dancehall girls get slapped around by brutish cowboys, too?  Realistically, does Iron Mae need a real man to run things for her town to succeed?  Will Ellen and Beth square off in the mud to see which one gets Dr. Bob?  This film would never make it in the Women's Studies departments at American universities...but for men who love dames in fishnets engaging in catfights, this is the perfect film.  See "Outlaw Women" and harp back to a day when the film industry knew what a man was, what a woman was, and how to make a movie. 

Rowdy Girls, Naked and lathery Cowgirls

Shannon Tweed naked and wet in a bath, or a stream, or in the throes of erotic passion!  Julie Strain naked and wet in a bath, or a stream, or in the throes of passion! Deanna Brooks naked and wet in a bath, or in a stream, or in the throes of passion!  Are you sensing a theme!  Erotic, kinky, and prurient fun, indeed!  Today we have a western.  Gunfights, saloons, and catfights abound.  Sadly our three actresses portray characters that do not get along with one another...but who is gonna complain about hostilities between naked and wet babes.  Our feature today is 2000's "The Rowdy Girls," directed by Steven Nevius.

Velvet (Tweed) is a cathouse whore who wants to get out of the business.  Her gig is dressing up as a nun and satisfying fetishes of pervert cowboys. Probably a women's studies major from Vassar. She'll seduce a dolt cowboy to rob a bank for her, then tie him up with a promise of deviant BDSM sex, and abscond with the loot. Sarah (Brooks) is a babe promised to an old geyser. She escapes and heads to San Francisco on a stagecoach. Mick (Strain) is a sultry gunfighter and the main girl of the much-feared Billy (Daniel Murray). He's a hunk and when we meet this duo they are in the throes of vicious, sweaty, and prurient passion. The scene is a painful one but oh, so good! These peeps will all meet when Billy, Mick and the gang try to rob a stagecoach.  On the stage is Sarah and Velvet.  Velvet is dressed as a nun and carries a bag with the bank's loot.

Velvet murders the sheriff (Todd Eckert) and the stage driver.  Billy takes the money and Sarah.  He likes Sarah and this ticks off Mick. Velvet plots a way to get her money back and flee. The sheriff's brother, Joe (Richie Varga) pursues wanting to avenge his brother's murder. Mick will humiliate Sarah , beat her, and tie her up.  Billy still wants this babe over Mick.  Velvet is rescued by Joe and now the two will engage in steamy, wet passion.  Velvet still wants the loot and Joe wants to murder Velvet.  Thus all these sex-crazed peeps will cross paths.  The gals will face bondage, beatings, and the ire of each of the other babes. Catfights and gunfights will abound as well as steamy sex.  A word of warning.  However playful and frolicky this one is, this film is also brutal and unforgiving.

Will the catfights ever turn into scenes of lipstick lesbianism?  Will any of these three babes make it to the end credits?  Will Joe and Billy smarten up and realize how much trouble these loose minxes are? This is an erotic western and the assets of these three actresses are on display a lot.  For a prurient good time, see "The Rowdy Girls."   

The Big Bust-Out, Sweaty Babes Escape Prison

We have a gratuitous one today. A women in prison classic from Italy. In 1972's "The Big Bust-Out" we have sweaty beauties with big...smiles! They catfight!  They have steamy lesbian sex!  They shoot machineguns, throw grenades, get raped, skinny dip, and get sold to mad Arabs.  It doesn't get better than this. Today we look at this Euro-Trash exploitation film directed by Ernst Ritter von Theumer. 

Seven babes are molested and tortured by butch matrons in a maximum security prison. The babes will be raped and fed to insane inmates. Gail (Margaret Rose Keil), a Scandinavian blonde seems to be the leader of the babes.  Inga (Nuccia Cardinali) is her Swiss compadre. Carmen (Felicita Fanny) is a sweaty and big-smiled redhead who is all attitude. Lolita (Christiane Thorn) is a redhead lesbian who will get plenty of action in this film. Okay, Sister Maria (Monica Teuber), a babe nun, will take mercy on these seven and arrange for work release. The babes will do work around her convent. While at the convent, they will be molested by Arab guards and fight back. The gals will murder the Arabs and abscond with Sister Maria. Quickly they will be captured by Shaw (William Berger) and meet their new buddy Nadia (Vonette McGee). They'll skinny dip with Nadia...except for Sister Maria.

Shaw betrays them and sells them to an Arab, Kadir (Gordon Mitchell).  When they are brought to a ship, the captain, Jeff (Tony Kendall) fights with the Arabs and gets away with the gals. Now Jeff leads the wanted babes into the mountain wilderness chased by psycho Arabs.  He will teach the gals to fight and shoot.  They'll steal machineguns and grenades. Uh oh...Kadir wants his property back.  He will capture the gals again, gang rape them, dress them up in harem intimates, and allow his men to have their way with them.  Now Jeff must save the gals and Sister Maria must keep her purity.

Alas, some of the babes will die horribly.  Inga will develop quite the crush on Jeff.  Sister Maria will endure unmentionable torture.  Will Jeff be able to save his new friends?  Will Sister Maria be able to keep her habit on the entire film? Is this film a metaphorical continuation of the European crusaders war on Arab peoples?  This is a gratuitous, erotic, and bloody one. For a lot of gore, nudity, sweaty lesbian sex, and skinny dipping, see "The Big Bust-Out."  

The Naked Road, White Slavery and Nubile Babes

Back in the 50s dames with spunk were sexy.  We loved them as either femme fatales or women who refused to be victimized.  Today's "women" are hardly feminine, not dames, not even babes, and unlikable.  When a nubile young model is grabbed by evil white slavers, we care.  We don't want to see her corrupted.  Todays "women" have already been corrupted by American media and entertainment, and our colleges and universities. Bring back the babes of the 50s...when a dame knew how to be a babe.  Today we look at 1959's "The Naked Road," directed by William Martin.

19 year old Gay Andrews (Jeanne Rainer) is a sultry model for an advertising firm. Through no fault of her own a corrupt cop and a corrupt judge sell her to a white slavery ring headed by fat and greasy Wayne (Ronald Long). Wayne slips her a sedative as Gay thought he was helping her. Now Gay wakes up in a locked bedroom. Wayne explains that she will become one of his whores and if she cooperates, will earn $50K per year. If she doesn't cooperate, Wayne will have her killed. Mark (Art Koulias) is Wayne's muscle and is sent into the bedroom to intimidate an unwilling Gay. Gay refuses at every turn. Now Wayne figures on starving her and if that does not work will addict her to heroin.

Gay is still being difficult.  Mark is sent in to rape her but Gay will beat him up. Now Wayne seriously considers bringing out the heroin. All looks hopeless for Gay as she has been stripped of her clothes and must lounge around in a nightgown, white in color. Meanwhile we see Wayne's organization murdering the whores that stop putting out.  Mark just pays them visits and murders them.  Gay does not care, she is a spunky dame.  The "women" we have in films over the past 20 years are entitled and believe themselves to be "empowered."  These broads could learn a lot about toughness from Gay Andrews.  How does it end? You'll see, but you can believe our damsel in distress will be put in much peril.

Will Gay end up kicking Mark in the gonads?  Will men be sent into the bedroom to force the issue with a drugged out Gay?  Is Gay's refusal to compromise her morals a total contradiction to today's "empowered women" who have no morals to compromise?  This is a fine exploitation film. Alas, if the United States still had women like Gay Andrews we would not be losing status throughout the world. See "The Naked Road" and see what real dames are like.

Spacebabes Meet the Monsters, Science Fiction Poetry

They are sultry. They wear shiny boots, shiny and short space suits, like to kiss, and are quite frisky...spacebabes! Low-budget and campy describes 2003's "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters," and that is fine. I know your question already. You want to know will a big ugly, clawed monster carry off one of the nubile and shiny spacebabes? Yes it will. Of course your next question...what will the monster do with the captured spacebabe? Never mind that for now, let us discuss "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters."

Dr. Ballard (Patrick Macnee), the world's most renown expert on time travel, tells the story of three schmucks who are sent 1,000 years into the future. Frank (Peter Gerdner), Gootch (Hal Rudnick), and Rex (John Norris) are fit with a device that brings them to a barren and apocalyptic Earth. The land is teeming with mutants and monsters. Immediately, a clawed monster attacks and carries Gootch away, and the device that enables them to travel through time. Next up, a race of spacebabes abducts Rex and Frank and bring the duo back to the ship. Spacebabe queen (Dani K.) and her first mate, Alpha Beta (Jean Black) want to kill them. Luna (Sammy Zax) develops a crush on Frank and her male captive teaches her to kiss. Luna is all about kissing and escapes the ship with Frank and Rex.

Now the spacebabes are in pursuit of Luna and the two guys. Luna takes the guys to a trailer park filled with mutant humans. They want to eat Luna (who doesn't?) but Frank and Rex convince the mutants she is now a friend. The mutants agree to help Rex and Frank find the time travel device so they can get back to present day. Uh oh...here comes the monster again. Uh oh again, the queen, and the pursuing spacebabes catch up to them as well. Dissension is in the ranks and cat-fights abound as the beauties are sweet on non-mutant men. Laser guns will be fired, hair will be pulled, and faces will be slapped as an epic battle between the spacebabes is waged. At stake is whether Frank and Rex will get back to present day and warn everyone of a coming apocalypse. 

What unfolds for the ending is ambitious and the spacebabes will shine...literally and figuratively. Sure, the actresses portraying the spacebabes have the acting talent of exotic dancers...which, I might add...is infinitely better than Meryl Streep or Scarlett Johansson, but their portrayals are appropriate for camp and exploitation. For a good time and a throwback to 1950s B movies, see the shiny clad babes in "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters," directed by Kathe-Duba Barnett.     

L.A. Bounty, Sybil Danning with Guns

Guns!  Yes!  Shotguns!  Machineguns! Pistols!  Oh, grenades, too! Sybil Danning with guns...as she plays a grouchy and vicious bounty hunter.  Put her in a leather jacket, some nice fitting jeans, cowboy boots, and we're all set.  Oh!  Did I mention Wings Hauser as the psycho she seeks?  This is a good one.  Sybil Danning will mow down so many bad guys.  Today we look at 1989's "L.A. Bounty," directed by Worth Keeter.

Ruger (Danning) used to be a sultry LAPD policewoman.  Then her partner was brutally tortured and murdered by Cavanaugh (Hauser).  Cavanaugh was released on a technicality and Ruger left the force and became a bounty hunter.  A few years later, Cavanaugh comes back to L.A.. He is a big time arms and drugs trafficker now.  His latest scheme has him kidnap a mayoral candidate (Robert Hanley) and hold him for ransom.  Uh oh...the candidate has a hot wife, Kelly (Lenore Kasdorf), who Cavanaugh wants dead.  Seems she saw the face of some of the kidnappers.  They would have murdered her as they chased her around the house in her lingerie but Ruger showed up and shot gunned some of the gang.  Now Cavanaugh wants to kidnap Kelly and torture her to death, too.

Ruger wants Cavanaugh.  She wants to murder him.  Cavanaugh is a psycho and will murder so many in this one, including an entire SWAT team.  Ruger will murder so many of Cavanaugh's men, most with the aforementioned firearms.  Now Ruger is protecting Kelly...but Cavanaugh is smart.  Creep by creep, Ruger murders Cavanaugh's men and associates on her way to the psycho.  You can probably guess there will be a final showdown as the two well-armed killers will square off with the life of the sultry Kelly in the balance.  The ending will be so beautiful.

Will the lingerie clad wife ever get a clue and find a weapon and do something for herself, for once?  Will Ruger get her revenge on the psycho arms and drugs dealer or will he capture her?  Will there be any bazookas, rocket launchers, or tanks in this one, or is Sybil Danning too tough for those tools of war?  Sybil Danning is one of those stars who we want to see.  If her name is in the credits, the movie is a must see.  Give yourself a treat tonight, put on Sybil Danning in "L.A. Bounty."