Barracuda, Pedophiles and Other Perverts Beware

With the unsurprising revelation that Bill Clinton is a pedophile, many elites are trying to downplay the evilness of pedophilia. Not this film. 2013's "Barracuda" is an anthem to those who have been raped as children...perhaps a fantasy tale of a world where perverts get what they deserve. 2013's "Barracuda" may draw comparisons to "I Spit on Your Grave," and those would be fair ones. Directed by Christy Oldham and Shane Woodson... "Barracuda" is a film in which the Bill Clintons of the world will not fare well.

Summer (Oldham) is a phone sex operator who lives on a houseboat in Venice. She fulfills the fantasies of perverts all across America. She realizes, through her callers' role-playing, that she is often talking to pedophiles. She begins compiling a notebook and becomes jaded to believe all men are scoundrels and perverts. Now she is armed with the addresses of perverts and pedophiles...but what will she do with it? After her best friend's husband (Will Beinbrink) sneaks into her drawers and tries on and sniffs her underwear, Summer goes on the warpath. She'll ruin her best friend's marriage with a surveillance video and hop in her Plymouth Barracuda.

Summer begins a road trip showing up at the doorsteps of many of her pervert customers. She'll have tape recordings in hand and eagerly chat with the pervert's family members. This leads to many divorces and even a castration. After hanging the testicles of one of her clients on her rear view, the game will get bloodier. A death makes her a wanted woman. Not deterred by warrants, she still has perverts to visit including an Elvis wannabe...and her pedophile stepdad. Uh oh...a man? Yep, the non perverted Harrison (Kaden Graves) just may emerge as a love interest through this carnage tour.

Does Summer's bloody warpath make her as bad as the perverts she's ruining? No!!!  Does Summer have any special plans for the stepfather that molested her? Will the seemingly sweet Harrison hold true or will he be put on Summer's castration list? Ms. Oldham is terrific as a 'Dirty Harriett' type avenger slaying the disgusting among us. For some gratuitous fun about a bikini clad phone-sex operator, driving an old Plymouth, with justice in mind, see "Barracuda."

The Protege, Maggie Q Does the John Wick Thing

Perhaps not an original plot, but we do have Maggie Q in tight leather catsuits, evening gown, all wet and sweaty, in the throes of pre-marital sex, and quick to murder with some type of firearm or trick phone. Yes! Where John Wick sweated and grunted, Maggie Q seduces and murders.  Oh, how about this for a quote from our Maggie Q protagonist, "Make up your mind, kill me, or f*** me!" Which would you choose? Our feature today is the uber violent assassin epic, 2021's "The Protege," directed by Martin Campbell.

What a backstory we have. Vicious, seductive, and interesting. See the movie, no spoilers here. Present day, Anna (Q) is an antique book store owner. Her best buddy is Moody (Samuel L. Jackson). The two have a gig going, find people who don't want to be found, then murder them. Payday is always several million Euros...and the vermin they kill, are indeed vermin. Uh oh, Moody is dying and he asks Anna to find an old...well, associate, an Edward Hayes (David Rintoul). Problem, everyone who looks for Hayes, dies horribly in either a hail of bullets or an explosion. Enter the suave Rembrandt (Michael Keaton). Easy to figure out that he was sent by Hayes to murder Anna. His men do murder Moody, but now Anna is ticked! Anna is now more than determined to find Hayes and now Rembrandt is on her tail. Anna and Rembrandt will shoot at one another and even have pre-marital sex (hence, the above mentioned quote).

Okay, Hayes' boys capture Anna, torture her, pummel her, torture her some more, then die horribly when they underestimate the babe's abilities. Now Anna is in Vietnam hunting this Hayes guy...but exactly who is he? Rembrandt will share an elegant dinner with the evening gown clad Anna, as well as a few shootouts. Both will murder dozens of henchmen, for different reasons. Now Rembrandt is tasked with doing anything he has to to keep Hayes alive. This is just what Anna is counting on.

Just who is Hayes and how did Moody know him?  Will Rembrandt end up murdering Anna or will Anna end up murdering Rembrandt?  How many dozens of schmucks will Anna murder on her way to Hayes? Maggie Q is seductive and lethal, just the way we want her.  Michael Keaton is miscast, but hey, he's Batman, and that's okay.  For a very seductive and sexy John Wick type film, see "The Protege." 

She Walks by Night, A Prurient True Story

Belinda Lee, a sultry actress through the 1950s. Alas, by unnatural and violent means, she was killed at the age of 25 in 1961.  Just before she died, the sultry blonde portrayed Rosemarie Nitribitt.  This becomes weird as Miss Nitribitt died at the age of 24 in 1957. Yep, she died by most violent means.  The German  beauty had the life viciously strangled out of her in what is still the most famous, or infamous, cold case in European history. Rosemarie was screwing a member of the Royal Family during the months leading up to her murder.  Miss Lee was screwing an Italian prince at the time of her suspicious car wreck. Miss Nitribitt caused scandal, for awhile, in the British Royal Family.  Miss Lee caused scandal in the halls of The Vatican. Let us look at 1959's "She Walks by Night," a Hugo Grimaldi film directed by Rudolf Jugert.

With no way to earn a living, what is a young single babe to do?  In Berlin, Rosemary Nitribitt becomes a prostitute.  A good one.  She even enjoys it. Quickly she finds a, for lack of a better term, sugar daddy. The very wealthy and very much older Alexander (Walter Rilla) finds her, saves her from arrest, and moves her into his luxury flat. She screws around on him any chance she gets.  Though she promised never to be a prostitute again, she likes doing it too much. Eventually, Alexander throws her out. Now she goes full force finding wealthy guys and screwing them.  She actually finds her tricks, no pimp involved. Uh oh, an opportunistic pimp (Karl Lieffen) shows up. He tries to tough talk Rosemarie into working for him.  Rosemarie turns the tables, infatuates him, and she merely strings him along as a drooling admirer.

Rosemarie abuses everyone in her life including her housekeepers.  Then she finds a hunk fur dealer named Frank (Claus Wilcke).  He will be a tough conquest, but Rosemarie has assets and ultimately even the good-souled Frank is corrupted.  Now the film turns on the dread.  Rosemarie is visited by a mysterious sort.  Is he an angel?  Is he her own conscience? Rosemarie is faced with the reality that she has never loved anyone.  All that she does love are material things that will not last.  Then, with a million souls in Berlin, male and female, who would like to strangle her to death, Rosemarie becomes an almost insane paranoic.  The sultry lady of the night in gowns, lingerie, negligees, and other alluring costumes may have seemed to have had it all, especially with money, but will that be enough?

Who did murder Rosemarie Nitribitt? Is the fact that the case is still unsolved a suggestion that is was a member of the Royal Family that murdered her?  Is the mindset of Rosemarie Nitribitt now the prevailing mindset of today's youngsters?  This is a morality tale indeed.  Miss Lee is sultry and seductive in every frame of the film.  Gritty, horrific, and ominous, the beauty of Rosemarie Nitribitt (and of Belinda Lee) provide great contrast to what we see on the screen.  For a sad, horrific, and sometimes hard to watch thriller, see "She Walks by Night."