They are sultry. They wear shiny boots, shiny and short space suits, like to kiss, and are quite frisky...spacebabes! Low-budget and campy describes 2003's "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters," and that is fine. I know your question already. You want to know will a big ugly, clawed monster carry off one of the nubile and shiny spacebabes? Yes it will. Of course your next question...what will the monster do with the captured spacebabe? Never mind that for now, let us discuss "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters."
Dr. Ballard (Patrick Macnee), the world's most renown expert on time travel, tells the story of three schmucks who are sent 1,000 years into the future. Frank (Peter Gerdner), Gootch (Hal Rudnick), and Rex (John Norris) are fit with a device that brings them to a barren and apocalyptic Earth. The land is teeming with mutants and monsters. Immediately, a clawed monster attacks and carries Gootch away, and the device that enables them to travel through time. Next up, a race of spacebabes abducts Rex and Frank and bring the duo back to the ship. Spacebabe queen (Dani K.) and her first mate, Alpha Beta (Jean Black) want to kill them. Luna (Sammy Zax) develops a crush on Frank and her male captive teaches her to kiss. Luna is all about kissing and escapes the ship with Frank and Rex.
Now the spacebabes are in pursuit of Luna and the two guys. Luna takes the guys to a trailer park filled with mutant humans. They want to eat Luna (who doesn't?) but Frank and Rex convince the mutants she is now a friend. The mutants agree to help Rex and Frank find the time travel device so they can get back to present day. Uh oh...here comes the monster again. Uh oh again, the queen, and the pursuing spacebabes catch up to them as well. Dissension is in the ranks and cat-fights abound as the beauties are sweet on non-mutant men. Laser guns will be fired, hair will be pulled, and faces will be slapped as an epic battle between the spacebabes is waged. At stake is whether Frank and Rex will get back to present day and warn everyone of a coming apocalypse.
What unfolds for the ending is ambitious and the spacebabes will shine...literally and figuratively. Sure, the actresses portraying the spacebabes have the acting talent of exotic dancers...which, I might add...is infinitely better than Meryl Streep or Scarlett Johansson, but their portrayals are appropriate for camp and exploitation. For a good time and a throwback to 1950s B movies, see the shiny clad babes in "Spacebabes Meet the Monsters," directed by Kathe-Duba Barnett.
