Gun violence. Terrorist attacks. Even automobile or airplane crashes. Never mind cancer, heart disease, or suicide. There are many ways to die, most aren't pleasant. However, in horror films there are many more ways to die that we don't have to worry about in real life. Let us look at these causes of death that are rampant in horror films but never seem to kill anyone in real life.
1: The scythe. Yep, an agricultural tool, but even farmers can find easier ways to slaughter witnesses or enemies. Sure, a head flying through the air after a swing of this pseudo-weapon is a beautiful thing, but reality is bare of instances of scythe-murder.
2: Flame Thrower. Nothing says epic film like flame thrower. There has never been a bad film that included a flame thrower. In reality, no one is ever killed by these things. Of course, flame throwers don't kill people, people kill people.
3: Bear Trap. In slasher films, a damsel or hunk running through the woods, fleeing a killer, always steps in a bear trap. Fatal hunting accidents usually concern rifles or drunks falling out of deer stands, never bear traps. Illegal in most places (but so is murder), the effects of these monstrosities are usually confined to warped imaginations. Even real life serial killers have eschewed using these things.
4: Spear Gun: From the depths of the seas, we look at spear guns. Even the madcap TV show 'Gilligan's Island" utilized this weapon in a makeshift murder trial. Again, there are easier ways to kill people, especially at sea. Pushing someone overboard is still easier than aiming, controlling a trigger pull, and not jerking said trigger. True, one of the most famous deaths in that 3D 'Friday the 13th" film was when the lovely damsel got it when Jason fired the speargun at her. Incidentally, this was the scene in which the iconic Jason first put on the hockey mask.
5: The Crossbow: Okay, about ten years ago someone was murdered by a crossbow in Montreal. Other than that, no one dies by crossbow. The incident in Montreal didn't start a trend. Other than action or horror movies, leather clad vixens or vampire hunters just don't use crossbows. Sure Rhona Mitra has never looked more feminine than when she aims to kill with a crossbow, nevertheless, even as an accessory, crossbows just don't make the cut in real life.
In another day or two I will post part 2 of this entry. If you have any ideas, just leave a comment and I may include you in this blog. Until next time, watch out for booby traps and quicksand and enjoy the other postings on this blog.
