These Bright Ideas will not Work!

I know....they work in the horror movies we watch.  If the psycho, or zombie horde, or creature, or entity comes a calling...do yourself a favor, do not try these.  Yes..they look great on the silver screen, but if tried in real life...you'll be eaten.  So here we go:
Hot-wire a Car: It won't work.  Just rub the two wires together after wrecking the steering column.... easy!  Nope.  You won't be able to dent the steering column, and you won't find those two wires which are usually prominently dangling in film.  You'll die cramped on the floor below the drivers seat.

Head Shots: In "The Walking Dead" or most zombie films, no one ever misses a head shot.  You will miss.  Running, on the move, your attempt at a head shot at pursuing walkers will go astray by at least three feet.  Forget about Rick and Daryl, they are fiction.  Never mind most of these shots are fired one-handed.  Even with proper breathing, trigger pull, and two-handed....you will miss.  Also be aware that even though you hit the head, you may not damage the brain.  Put your energy in running away.

Molotov Cocktails: Not only do these always work in film, they look so cool.  These makeshift bombs illuminate the night sky while spreading gasoline or kerosene through a horde of creatures. Those of you who have gotten wet trying the Mentos-Diet Coke experiment know that these endeavors don't always go as planned. In all likelihood the horde will be laughing at you as your right arm goes up in flames or the bottle doesn't break after impacting the soft ground.

Ouija Boards: When evil spirits come calling, don't break out the Ouija Board.  No one has ever used a Ouija Board and later said, "Wow, I'm glad we thought of that, it went really well." Even in film, this strategy never works.

Leaving Shelter: You are in a mall, plenty of food, and the things can't get in.  Stay there!  Don't leave.  In 2005's "Dawn of the Dead" they all left because they did not want to die in a mall.  So they left the mall, where they were alive, and died minutes later.  Locked doors and thick walls should never be eschewed in favor of hikes though dark and unknown wilderness or overtaken cities. If you find yourself, during a zombie apocalypse, holed up in the structure pictured below....don't leave it!

Okay, these are the five ideas that will get you killed that immediately come to my mind.  If you have anymore, please let me know by commenting on this blog entry.

The Mary Celeste, Ghost Ship Mystery still Unsolved

In November of 1872, the Mary Celeste, with a crew of 10, started sail from New York City to Genoa, Italy.  The cargo?  Alcoholic beverages....no...the Mary Celeste was not owned by Carnival.  In early December 1872, the ship was found derelict, 400 miles east of the Azores. No one on board.  No signs of violence. Plenty of food and drink remained.  Oh yes...to make this a very sad story, the captain, Benjamin Briggs brought his beautiful wife Sarah and two year old daughter with them.  Over a century has passed....still no clues to what happened.

Best guess?  Some say sea monsters (my favorite theory, especially if it had tentacles)....others say pirates or a mutiny....the scientific community claims water spouts.  I have not heard UFOs or space aliens as the culprit....but let us throw that in.  On February 21st, I reviewed a Bela Lugosi film, "The Phantom Ship."  Click on this link to see the review The Phantom Ship .  This film was based on an Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes) story.  The theory put forth in this film is reasonable and entirely plausible.  In this film, a crew member, with a grudge against the first mate, and perhaps some sanity issues, snaps and turns killer.  The film is lurid and knowing that the beautiful Sarah will fall victim to this fiend makes it hard to watch.

The Mary Celeste will likely remain a mystery, and perhaps that is the way it should be.  The vast oceans are still as mysterious to us as outer space.  Reminders that we will never know everything may serve to keep the human race in line....to some extent, anyway.  If the Syfy Channel ever makes this into a film, you can bet a crew member won't be blamed....rather a huge tentacled beast.  I, for one, will opt for the sea monster theory.